The Second City, 50 Years of Jumping Off Cliffs
President Obama Can Kiss My A$@!

Is There a Doctor in the House? What About the Senate?


Emergency!  It looks like our health care bill is coding!  NURSE get me 2 liters of Public Option on the rapid infuser, STAT!  Doctor its flat lined!  Someone get me the paddles!...CLEAR!!  There’s barely a pulse!  We’re going to have to intubate!  Will somebody shut up Joe Lieberman, I need to concentrate here!  I see what’s wrong nurse!  Blue dog concessions are blocking the bills progress!  Can you save it Doctor?! Nurse, In the words of President Obama, “Yes we can, Yes we can!” 

Oh if it was that easy!  I hope I understand this correctly.  For the first time in ages we have a Democratic Congress, a Democratic Senate, and a Democratic President who promised us real change, but they can’t come together to pass a simple sweeping health care reform bill that puts the people first and the corporations second, and includes a true Public Option?  If all the Democrats united they could basically do whatever they wanted to, but, Noooooooooooo!  Democrats just can’t agree on jack squat! 

“But why in the world would any Democrat not want a true Public Option included in this health care bill?  Could it be because some Democrats have the Insurance Company Lobbyists in there back pockets and the money is more important to them then the interests of the people they represent?”

Nah!  But maybe some of them just don’t know what a Public Options is.  First let’s define what it is not.  It is not Socialized Health Care.  In fact it is not health care at all.  In fact it is not even socialized.  It is health insurance.  Doctors won’t be working for the government, hospitals won’t be government owned, except of course for the ones that are already government owned.
“But wait, isn’t health insurance what we have right now? Am I missing something?”

Well no you’re not.  It is health insurance, but not like we have right now.  Let’s call it Health insurance version 2.0, or New and Improved health insurance.  This health insurance slices and dices and even makes Julian potatoes.  This health insurance is very similar to what we have today for seniors, called Medicare.  It is a government sponsored health insurance program, or a Public program, hence the word Public in Public Option.  Ahhhh, now you’re getting it?

“But why, would I want this Public Option health insurance, if I already have health insurance?” 
Well you see, it will be less expensive, a lot less expensive, and the awesome thing about it is that you get health insurance that's just as good as all of the other big corporate health plans.
“But how will it be so much less expensive if it offers the same quality insurance as the expensive corporate plans?”
I’ll tell you how.  You see the big corporate plans are “for profit.” There goal is to make the most money from you they can even if they have to refuse coverage to you in the process.  In addition the big corporate plans pay 30% of what you pay in premiums to there executives in multi-million dollar salaries and bonuses.  The Public Option, on the other hand, is not concerned with profit.  It is concerned with paying your medical bills, and government employees don’t make multi-million dollar salaries.  Hmmm imagine that, an insurance plan that puts you first.  Its starting to sound pretty good, isn’t it?  

“But if it’s less expensive won’t everyone want to have it?  And if every one has it won’t that put the corporate insurance companies out of business?”
Congratulation, you have just arrived at the essential reason why we must have a strong Public Option.  You see, right now the big corporate insurance companies have no reason to lower your premiums.  Why would they, there is no competition.  They can charge you what ever they want and we have no choice but to either pay it or have no health insurance.  But if the government offers everyone a Public Options insurance plan that offers you the same or better insurance that you get from the big corporate giants like Humana, Blue Cross/ Blue Shield, or Unicare, at prices that are drastically lower, now we have competition and if the big corporate insurance companies want to survive, they will have to lower there prices to stay in business.
“This sounds great!  A great insurance program, guaranteed by the government, at low prices and available to anyone!  But we will be forced to have this “Public Option”, right?  See it is socialized health insurance!  Down with big government!!” 

Woa! Hold on Rush Limbaugh, this is where the word “Option” comes in.  You see, it’s optional, hence the word Option in Public Option.  No one will ever be forced to have the Public Option.  You can choose any insurance you want.  You can even keep your current insurance.  You won’t have to change doctors, go to different hospitals, and even your current insurance will cost less because competition will drive down prices!

“ Woo Hoo !  Let’s celebrate!”

...Uh, hold on there cowboy.  You see, there is one little problem.  Since the Democrats can’t seem to agree on jack squat, certain itsy bitsy, teeny weeny little compromises had to be made, like eliminating the Public Option from the health care bill.  Ok bye, have a nice day!


….Hmmmmm?  Oh yea, you heard me right, they eliminated the Public Option in order to make certain other Democrats vote for the health care bill.  

“But what about competition, and lower prices and all that stuff?”
Yeeeea,…um,…well, you see, that’s all gone.  Oh were going to have other really good things like, you can no longer be denied for pre-existing conditions, or there are no longer going to be caps on how much your insurance company will pay out if you get sick, or your insurance can no longer be dropped because you are simply costing them too much money, but, and this is the reason that the insurance company executives are all having a big, all you can drink martini party right now,  no Public Option will mean that the big corporate insurance companies will be able to charge us what ever the hell they want to since there will nothing to drive down costs, and they will have around thirty five million more customers that they can do this too.  To put it bluntly…We’re Screwed.

“You mean to tell me that if the Democrats would simply include a Public Option all of us could have a real choice in our health care insurance at prices substantially lower then it is now, but with out the Public Option prices could actually go up, and the only choice we will have in insurance is the big corporate insurance giants or nothing?!”

Yes. That’s exactly what I am saying.  But there is something you can do.  You can call your congressman and senator today and tell them that you want a strong Public Option included in this Health Care Bill or they will loose your support.  If they are a Republican, tell them at the next election you will be voting for a Democrat, and if they are a Democrat tell them you will be voting for there Democrat opponent!

“Why wouldn’t I tell the Democrat that I will be voting Republican?”

Yea…Um, I’m just going to ignore that question.  Anyway…The other thing you can do is call the White House and tell President Obama that you do not what him to sign this bill with out a Public Option.  The bottom line is that this Health Car Bill must include a Public Option or it is not worth the paper it printed on.  We do not just have to be bystanders in this process.  This is a democracy and we can always be active participants.  Take a stand.  I’m glad we could have this talk. Nurse, I'm scrubbing in.

To contact your senator go to  To contact the White House call 202-456-1111 or go to


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