The North Shore Dad, The 2009 "Daddie" Awards!
January 01, 2010
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first annual North Shore Dad, Daddie Awards! Here we will honor achievements however dubious and ridiculous they may be of those individuals who touched our lives in ways that often we could have done without, and issues that forced us to take notice. And now here is your host for the evening, the North Shore Dad himself,…Brian Dann!
Thank you, Thank you! Before we get started I just want to make an announcement, Joe Lieberman has just left Judaism citing Hanukkah as costing too much to celebrate and has converted to Islam. He will now be known as Abdul Mohammed Goldstein. And now for our first award.
Our first award goes to the individual most unable to recognize a good thing when he had it. And the Nominees are:
- David Letterman - for his affair with a staff intern.
- Governor Mark Sanford - for his “hike through the mountains.” (is that what you call cheating on your wife these days)
- Tiger Woods - For using Tigers Wood way too much.
And the Daddie goes to…Tiger Woods! At the risk of sounding redundant, are you a frigin’ idiot? First of all your wife is smokin’ hot, and second, you’re not. Third of all, what’s the story Tiger? Are you making up for all those years when you couldn’t get laid as a young geeky kid playing golf all the time? You don’t just stick your club in any bimbo that wants to play with your putter!
And now on to our next award. This next award is the George W. Bush Lifetime achievement award for the most stupid things said in one years time. And the Nominees are:
- Rush Limbaugh - "Exercise freaks ... are the ones putting stress on the health care system." June 12, 2009
- President Obama - "UPS and FedEx are doing just fine, right? It's the Post Office that's always having problems," Undercutting his argument for health care reform while trying to make his case.
- Glenn Beck – “This president…has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture... This guy is, I believe, a racist."
- Sarah Palin - "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel.'"
And the Daddie goes to… Sarah Palin! Oh please this was way too easy! Was this even a contest? Lets review some of the quotes that gave her this award.
“That was fun!” – Said after pardoning a turkey while other turkeys were having there heads chopped of behind her.
"I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out." – The Department of Law in the White House… does not exist.
"It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: 'Sit down and shut up,' but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out." – Said as she QUIT her position as governor of Alaska.
Oh there were countless others that I could have included from the Katie Couric interview or other things she said while on the campaign trail but only the last 12 months can be considered. But I am fully in favor of her running for President, Oh please if there is a god in heaven let her run for president.
The next award is the Shock and Awe award and goes to the biggest honor bestowed this year that may have been ever so slightly questionable. There was only one Nominee for this award this year.
And the Daddie goes to... President Barack Obama for his award of the Nobel Peace Prize! Now granted I like the president and all, but don’t you think that on the day they announced the winner, Mahatma Gandhi rolled over in his grave and said, “Are you Fuckin kidding me!” I’m not going to question whether he deserved this prize or not, but if he didn’t have enough pressure on him already, he does now.
This next award is the Biggest Scam award and goes to the individual or individuals who pulled off the biggest hoax of the year. And the Nominees are:
- Bernie Maddof – He easily pulled off the largest ponzi scheme in history, with some help from the SEC.
- Richard Henne – Better known as the Balloon Boy case.
- Michaele and Tareq Salahi – The couple who crashed the White House State Dinner. Actually that took a hell of a lot of balls! Kudos to them!
And the Daddie goes to… Richard Henne! Oh sure Bernie Maddof scammed many more people out of billions of dollars and wiped out the life savings of everyone from some of the wealthiest people in the world to others with modest nest eggs to retire on, as well as some of the top charitable organizations in our country, but no one pulled off a scam with the same utter stupidity and disregard for their own young children then Richard Henne. This idiots hair brained scheme included telling his children that they should lie to the national media and he was convinced that if he pulled this off it would land him on a reality TV show. So much for teaching good values to your kids and getting an honest job.
The next award is the coveted Douche-bag award! This goes to the biggest Douche-bag of the entire year. With out a doubt there is no contest here and only one nominee.
The Daddie for this year’s Douche-bag award proudly goes to Senator Joe Lieberman! This is the only man in history who is the Yin to his own Yang! Joe was originally elected as the Senator from Connecticut as a Democrat. He even ran for Vice President with Al Gore on the Democratic ticket. Joe became an independent when he lost the Democratic primary election in 2006 and ended up winning the election as an independent even though he highly resembles the cartoon character Droopy-Dog. At that time he also promised to uphold the ideals of the Democratic Party as an independent. He pretty much sealed his fate as Douche-bag of the year the moment he campaigned for the Republican candidate John McCain rather then the Democratic Barack Obama. Yes, I know this happened before 2009, but it was such a Douche-bag move that we can’t help but in consider it for the award. Gotta-Go-Joe then further sealed his fate as a world class back stabber by pledging to filibuster during the Senate debate on health care reform, further betraying the Democrats and then went on to enter the ranks of hall of fame back-stabbers by promising to side with the Republicans by opposing both a Medicare-buy-in and a Public Option. Way to go Joe! What a Douche-bag!
And the final award of the evening goes to the NorthShoreDad “Reader of the Year”!
And I am proud to announce that this years Reader of the Year award goes to my Uncle Rick! Oh sure I have had many loyal readers over the past year and many who have told me that they liked this article or that article, but Uncle Rick is the only reader that has read almost everyone of my articles and has actually made a point to comment, in writing, on most of the things I have written. Oh, don’t assume he got this award because he agreed with everything I said, he absolutely did not, or that he praised me for my insightful opinions on politics and our new president, which he should have. You see, me and Uncle Rick are as about as opposite in political views as two human beings can be, but the fact is he commented, and that is the reason that I created NorthShoreDad.com in the first place, to encourage the debate. I created it to encourage the intelligent exchange of ideas that makes this country a great place to live. Here we can say anything we want about what ever we want with no fear of censorship. I don’t think there has ever been an occasion where my Uncle Rick and I have agreed on anything in politics but that is ok. How boring would this world be if all we did was agree on everything! So please follow Uncle Ricks lead and comment. Below each article is a link that says “Comments.” If you read something you like or dislike about what I write, or just want to add some incite, comment. It makes this world and this blog a more interesting place to visit. So congratulations Uncle Rick! You are the 2009 “Reader of the Year!” Dont get too excited. There's not actually a statue or monitary award.
And that wraps up this years 2009 North Shore Dad “Daddie” awards! Untill next year this is the NorthShoreDad, Brian Dann saying thank you for the past year! Have a Very Happy New Years, and remember I’ll turn this blog around right now kids, So Sit Down!
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